He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
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