No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
