The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
