I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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