I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
