If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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