Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
