she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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