Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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