i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
