He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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