why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
