You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
