he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
