And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
