dude i'm inner monologue high
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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