John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
