we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
