hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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