and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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