Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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