i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
