This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
