The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
