Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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