Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
