yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
