You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
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How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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