Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
