So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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