how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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