it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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