hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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