The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
