I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
