I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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