everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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