Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
