hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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