1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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