i think my mom watched the whole time
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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