My sheets look like a crime scene.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
