I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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