So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
