They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
