lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
