peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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