If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
