No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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