Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
