the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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