Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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