i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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