If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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