Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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