Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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