We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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